Jordan Bunch

Neo Pentecostalism

2011-08-09T00:03:00.001-06:00

A few events over the summer have gotten me thinking a lot about this great movement sweeping the globe right now. For those of you that have no clue what I am talking about let me briefly explain.

Defined... Or at least described
The largest and fastest growing religion in the world is currently Christianity. The fastest growing sect/denomination/movement (insert your favorite term here) within Christianity in the world today is something most scholars are calling "Neo Pentacostalism" or "Neo Charasmatic." This is a hard term to define for several reasons.
1) Most people/churches who are part of this movement do not claim this title.
2) These churches look very different from city to city, country to country.
3) Many of these churches still go by their former name (Baptist, Community, Bible, even some Catholic churches, although this is rare).

There are a few things that are true of all (maybe I should say most) New Pentecostal churches that can help us identify these groups.
1) A very high view of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and of the Holy Spirit himself.
2) A very high value is placed on evangelism.
3) They believe they are a "New Testament Church" in the since that their beliefs and practices are largely based off of the book of Acts and the outbreaking of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Hence the name.

My Intentions
Ok, so by now you may have a few of these churches in mind, or maybe (highly likely) you are even a part of one of these communities of faith. Let me make my intentions very clear. I am not here to advocate for or judge against any particular faith community or movement. My intention in writing this is to help paint a picture of what I have observed, experienced and researched myself in order that some may learn something that may help themselves or someone they know live deeper into the heart and life of King Jesus.

Ground Rules
So anytime there is a big movement in any given religious group there are positives and negatives. If you don't believe this you might as well stop waisting your time with this blog. All movements are started by or at least managed by people. People have flaws. Movements have flaws. It's simple math.

The Good
It's always good to start with the positives.
1) An amazing number of people are coming into relationship with Jesus through this movement.
2) People in this movement take their faith very seriously. They are very bold about their faith.
3) People in this movement are finding thriving community through their church families who are part of this movement.
4) The Spirit is often manifesting himself in amazing ways in these communities.
5) There is a very high respect for the Scripture in this movement. Particularly in the book of Acts and in some of the Old Testament prophets writings.

I think most of us could agree that these are all very good things that this movement has brought to so many people. I for one am thankful for these things.

The Bad
Like I said, there is good and bad in every faith community. Lets just be honest and own it. (See previous posts to see how I have owned my faith traditions failures and successes.)
1) There are a few significant leaders in this movement that hold way too much weight in what happens in faith communities across the US. This also trickles down from the US to other nations due to missionary efforts. If we look at recent history we see that movements like this that had one or 2 central charismatic leaders typically crumble and leave horrible aftermath that Christians will be trying to cleanup for generations to come. (Think Kip McKean) I pray that this does not happen, but I dare say that no one man should ever hold as much of a burden as Bill Johnson out of Redding, CA does. I often hear young people talking about Bill Johnson as if he was the next best thing to Christ himself and talking about his church in Redding as some sort of Christian Mecca. It is hard to see anyway that this can end well. Again, I pray I am wrong because if I am not, things will get very ugly.
2) All too often a sense of pride finds it's way into these circles. This pride is largely based on the manifestation of the gifts of the Spirit. Those not experiencing the manifestations of the Spirit are often ostracized and made to feel inferior to the others. This leads to individuals either leaving the community to find a place to belong elsewhere or faking a manifestation in order to be accepted.
3) The Holy Spirit often is given more attention than Jesus himself. This would grieve the Spirit deeply. Everything he does is about pointing back to Jesus. He never draws attention to himself, but only to Jesus.

Closing Thoughts
So here's what I hope you can take away with you.
1) Stay humble. What you believe now probably isn't exactly what you believed 5 years ago and it's probably not exactly what you'll believe 5 years from now. It's possible that you are wrong. So be humble and know that your way of doing things is not necessarily the best way of doing it.
2) Be cautious of people who like to start ministries titled "insert name here ministries." Its an easy to see marker that they are struggling mightily with pride. Don't blindly follow anyone.
3) If the people around you talk about the Spirit more than Jesus, gracefully remind them that Jesus is the King and all of life in His Kingdom is about loving, honoring and serving Him. The Spirit's job is to help us do that better than we could on our own.
4) Let's all get along. It was Jesus' dying wish on the cross that we all live in unison with one another. The least we can do is give him that.

Grace and Peace.
Jordan

The Inevitable vs. The Choice

2011-05-09T20:46:00.004-06:00

Context is really inevitable isn’t it? You can choose your context to be sure. Regardless of where you are in life you are simply in a context. This is a fact of life you cannot escape. This seems obvious and overly simplistic. Yet it is key to understanding where and how to move and interact with the world.

Some contexts you get to choose, others are chosen for you. A baby is born into a particular context. I was born in the United States of America. Dallas, Texas to be more specific. Even more so, I was born to Clint and Belinda Bunch, an upper-middle-class, white, well-educated, republican, Christian, Church of Christ family. This is not the context I choose. I was simply born into it. There is nothing I can do to change the fact that I was born into the Bunch family.

My friend Tony was born into a very different context. Tony was born in the South Bronx. He’s not sure who his dad is, and to be honest, his mom isn’t sure either. He imagines he looks like his dad, because he looks nothing like his mom. He was born to a lower class, single-mother, atheist family that was just trying to make ends meet and help her son survive in a dangerous school system. Tony didn’t choose his context. He was simply born into it. There is nothing he can do to change the fact that he was born into the Williams family. What a strange world we live in. Some people are just lucky I guess…

Yet there was One who had the opportunity to choose His context. And it should be obvious which one He would choose right? Clearly He should choose the Bunch family. If you get to choose one, go with the Bunches. Am I right? Yet the One I am discussing, didn’t just get to choose to be a Bunch or a Williams. He had the opportunity to choose any context He wanted. Not bad huh?

Being that this One happened to choose the 1st Century AD to be born, you would think He would choose to be Caesar right? I mean, if you’re going to choose you might as well go big.

For some odd reason, He didn’t choose Caesar. He didn’t choose any royal family at all. In fact, He went the way of an illegitimate child of teenage girl who couldn’t afford one night in a motel. Why would He choose such a life? I mean, I’m no genius. But the answer is really clear that you’ve got to go with Caesar on this one!
One must wonder what Jesus of Nazareth was thinking when He choose Mary. He must have had something special in mind. Surely He had to have had a trick up His sleeve. The truth of the matter is, Jesus chose to intentionally place himself in the specific context of an unwed teenage girl so that he could best show his love to the world. It is out of the lowest class on earth that Jesus chooses to enter the world, because it is a sign of a new Kingdom coming. A Kingdom where everything is backwards and Jesus is King. The first are last and the last are first. Mourning is turned into dancing! Weakness is strength! The blind can see and the lame dance the streets all to the glory of the Most High King!

This is Good News for the poor! But what about me? I was born into the Bunch family. It was a context I didn’t choose, but if everything is backwards in this new Kingdom then that means I’m last.

Yet maybe all contexts aren’t chosen for you. After all I am an adult now. I choose where to go to college. I choose who to marry. I choose what job to take. Now, maybe a lot of these decisions were effected by the context that I did not choose, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still choose a new context, a new Kingdom.

In this new Kingdom all of the citizens are madly in love with their King. They radically abandon the ways of the world in order to pursue relationship with Him. They put all of their effort into becoming like Him in every way. As a follower of Jesus, intentionally placing oneself in a specific context that will best allow them to show their love for others is often over looked. We weren’t able to choose from birth, but as adults we are able to choose our context.

So the question becomes, will you choose to be first, or last?

How to renew the Church?

2011-05-05T17:12:00.001-06:00

“The renewal of the church will come from a new type of monasticism, which has only in common with the old an uncompromising allegiance to the Sermon on the Mount. It is high time men and women banded together to do this." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone 4

Action/Waiting Room Ethics

2011-02-20T19:58:00.005-07:00

Two weeks ago my little sister got very sick so I took her there around 9:30PM. She is better, no worries…

Most of the time we were waiting was fairly inactive. There were several things I noticed as I looked around. I noticed a few husbands taking care of sick wives. A mother with her grown daughter. A grown daughter with her aging mother. A few families, one of the members was sick and the rest showed up. No one seemed to be by themselves. Until one man walked in alone.

He was a rough looking Hispanic man in his late 20s. About 5′8” 200 pounds, he looked like he used to be an athlete, but obviously wasn’t anymore. He seemed to have been hardened by the neighborhood that he may have grown up in. Wearing baggy jeans and a dirty tanktop to show off his many tatoos. His head was shaved clean and he had a swollen and bleeding eye. I assumed this was why he came in…

He started pacing back and forth in the room. He must have been trying to keep his cool by the look of anger on his face. A few minutes went by and another lone woman walked in and made a B-line to the phone that sat on a side table. She quickly picked up the phone, sat down and began to dial a number, making sure to keep her head low. The Hispanic man noticed her presence quickly and his anger was brought to rage at her sight. He started yelling profanities at her and telling her to leave quickly. The security guard behind the glass moved over to the window quickly to observe, but she seemed frightened herself.

The woman wouldn’t say a word, and didn’t budge, trying to make her phone call. The man grew louder and angrier. He started to yell for the security guard to remove her. It was at this time that he had his back to me and I could see the real reason he came to the ER. He had a golf ball sized gash in the back of his head, covered in blood.

The security guard appeared to be in shock. She didn’t know what to do so she just watched in silence, as did everyone else in the room. When he saw that the security guard wasn’t going to meet his demands he took matters into his own hands. He grabbed her by the hair and raised her up out of his seat. He then began to shake her head and tell her “get the f*$# out of here!”

When I saw that the security guard was not able to do her job I stood up in her defense. My blood was boiling, similar to the way it is now as I recall this event. I stood up, looked him in the eye and said, “You let go of her!”

He quickly moved all of his anger from the woman to me. He started yelling profanities at me, asking if I wanted to “take this outside.” I could think of no words to say that would be helpful. So I simply stood my ground and looked him in the eyes. I had already succeeded at my task anyways. The woman was not being harmed anymore. As he continued his threats 2 security guards came around the corner and escorted him outside.

Afterward several strangers asked me to recall the story from my perspective. So I preceded to tell the story over the next few hours to my new friends in the ER.

Its situations like this that call one to question things like, when is it wrong to be meek? When is being a peacemaker better? Or is it ever? What would I have done if the man had attacked me? Or if he hit the woman? Would I have moved in physically then? Was Jesus a pacifist? Or would he have stepped in physically to defend this helpless woman if things escalated?

Life is tough.

What is the Emerging Church?

2011-02-13T22:25:00.003-07:00

The Emerging Church is a fairly hot topic in many evangelical circles these days. This topic brings more childish banter out of the religious far right than any almost any other I can think of. I must also be fair to say that, those on the religious far left have used this expression of church as a sort of covering for an "anything goes theology."

Both are equally unhealthy. The Emerging Church is tough to define. Even the more prominent leaders of this emerging movement have a tough time defining it. I am by no means an authority on the subject. But it is a movement that I have been paying close attention to for the last 4-5 years. I have also been participating in a few expressions of church that most would define as “emerging” in the last year. Using both personal experiences and research I will attempt to briefly define the "Emerging Church" at the end of this post.

Let me tell you about a few of my experiences first...

I lead a monastic community in Edward’s Hall made up of 10 freshman and sophomore’s that have committed to a monastic rule that we developed together. This rule includes: daily time in silence/solitude, reading the sermon on the mount 3 times a week, fasting weekly, daily time in conversational prayer, weekly meeting with monk brothers, a soul friendship (church of 2 or 3), and bi-weekly coaching.

I am also part of a simple church that started in August. We meet together in each others home. Eat a meal together with the Lord’s supper. Each person has an opportunity to share their hearts with one another and say anything else they would like to share with the community. We then have a time of listening together and then we usually spend some time encouraging and building one another up. It has been amazing to become part of a community that not only shares several hours once a week with each other, but is deeply invested in one another’s lives on a daily basis.

Given my experience in these forms of “emerging church” and many readings of other’s experiences I would like to give my best shot at a definition. Here it goes...

“The Emerging Church movement is a conversation centered around reforming Christ’s Bride by blending ancient traditions with Post-modern cultural expressions in order to become a community that represents the Gospel of Jesus, and the life of a particular local.”

What do you think of this definition? Or maybe a better question would be, what do you think of the idea of this kind of church?

The Conversation Continues

2011-02-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

I’m having a difficult time keeping up with this blog after all. Largely in part to my newest hobby. You can check that out at Bunchphotography.blogspot.com I am really having a blast capturing the beauty of the creator on camera.

However, I do have a renewed plan for keeping up with this blog, as I feel it is vital that we speak to the issues I am beginning to address here... AND several of you have encouraged me to do so. I’m glad that you feel these topics are important. I do too, and I want to continue to help articulate what I know many of you are experiencing and feeling in the church today. Stay tuned… and please keep the conversation going through the comment section.

The Forgotten Ways - part 4

2010-12-22T23:07:00.000-07:00

At the heart of it all is Jesus. “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. “

Hirsch is often asked why he think the Chinese underground church has experienced such rapid growth. He responds, “if one is willing to die for the faith, one has gone beyond easy believism into the realms of genuine faith and love for God.”

Recently I was at a Church Planting Movement conference. David Watson, the main presenter said that in the Chinese churches they generally ask an “extra” question when someone is being baptized. “Would you be willing to die for Jesus?” They ask this question because it is a real possibility that they will be asked to lay down their life for the King.

Hirsch says that in order for the Chinese Church to survive within the context of persecution they have to rid themselves of all unnecessary impediments. This includes: the institutional conception of ecclesia (assembly or church), condense and purify their core message (Jesus is Lord), adopt a more cell-like structure, rely heavily on relational networks. They also must remove all of the traditional interpretations and theological paraphernalia in order to stay under the radar.

This causes me to question if it will take this kind of persecution for the western church return to its core message and theory and practice. What does it really look like to make Jesus Lord? Lord of your entire life? What would it look like if the Church really made Jesus the Lord of everything they were about?

Hirsch says that at the heart of all great movements in Christian history there is a recovery of a simple Christology. He is the initiator of the New Covenant, and He, Himself is the New Covenant. Thus discipleship (becoming like Jesus) lies as the central task of the Church.

“The greatest proof of Christianity for others is not how far a man can logically analyze his reasons for believing, but how far in practice he will stake his life on his belief.”

We must lead God’s people not from a place of honor and demanded respect, but rather from a place of inspiration. If we want to help lead the church back to its true leader, Jesus, we must stake our lives on the statement that Jesus is our Lord. And if you take a hard look at the Gospels while doing this, you will truly be an inspiration and be able to lead from that place.

According to Hirsch, “Inspirational leadership involves a relationship between leaders and followers in which each influences the other to pursue common objectives, with the aim of transforming followers into leaders in their own right. It does this by appealing to values and calling without offering material incentives.”

He says that the quality of the church’s leadership is directly proportional to the quality of discipleship. So I leave you with this question. Who are you discipling? And who is discipling you?

The Forgotten Ways - part 3

2010-12-22T23:05:00.000-07:00

“How will we ever find a better cure if at each critical moment we always opt for the traditional treatment?” ~Alan Hirsch

Hirsch and many others (including myself) often find themselves thinking about how we (the church) are actually further away from “getting the job done” than we were at the end of the third century. By getting the job done I mean Jesus’ great commission. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

If you skipped that last quote because you’ve already heard that a million times go back and read it. I included the first and last sentence that most leave out on purpose so that you would see that they key here is Jesus. It is not about the work that we are doing. It is bookended by the fact that this is something Jesus will be leading. This is vastly important to everything the church does.

The point here though, is that we ask the question, “why are we further away from getting the job done?” Yet we fail to question our “mode of the churches engagement” as Hirsch puts it. He says that we typically aim at adding or developing new programs. This is just a surface level issue. Hirsch paints this picture more clearly for us by saying that when Apple Computers want to continue to progress their technology they do not simply create newer better programs. In fact they rarely do this at all. Instead, they rethink the operating system and the hardware. If they get this right, then they may think about developing new programs, but they largely lead the programming up to their customers! Thus, the app store.

The church could learn a lot from Apple. If we can get the hardware (mode) and operating system (leadership structure) right, the people will do the programming. And they will do it for free because they love the result. Just ask Wikipedia about that. Or Google. Or Firefox… you get the idea. They will become more engaged and passionate about this work than anything else. This is because God made us in his creative image.

“Far too long historians have accepted the claim that the conversion of the Emperor Constantine caused the triumph of Christianity. To the contrary, he destroyed its most attractive and dynamic aspects, turning a high-intensity, grassroots movement into an arrogant institution controlled by an elite who often managed to be both brutal and lax.” As soon as Constantine sought to control the church and handed the reigns to highly paid educated men, the Church ceased to be a movement of Jesus followers and became an institution of spectators.

According to Barna in 2001 there were 111 million US Christians without a local church. This number is much higher 10 years later. This should cause us all to question our mode of church. If the Christians don’t even want to be a part of it, why should anyone else?

No amount of candles, perfect music, entertaining sermon or drama will bring the lost to your church. “I therefore present the same challenge here to the emerging church and the established church: if you don’t want to be another church fad, don’t just make the service and spirituality suit a postmodern audience, start at another place – put the M[issional] in the equation first, the E[merging] C[hurch] will follow.”

The Forgotten Ways - part 2

2010-12-21T16:50:00.002-07:00

“If you want to build a ship, don’t summon people to buy wood, prepare tools, distribute jobs, and organize the work, rather teach people the yearning for the wide, boundless ocean.”

This is really the way I have come to approach life in the communities to which I belong. I’ve never been big on telling people what to do. In fact I probably lean too far into the abstract and I imagine that might be a little frustrating for some who I coach.

I am a vision caster. I am not a prescriber. I hope all of my readers hear that well when I write. I never want to push my methods of church and life on anyone. Rather I want to cast a vision in their hearts of what a full life in Christ might look like for them and their community. I hope to do it in such a way that it becomes their hearts deepest desire to live that vision out. I have full faith in the Spirit of Jesus Christ to work out the methods and details.

However, I do think it is important to share with the church how Jesus has historically created the kind of amazing movements that I spoke about in part 1. I think it is important to study how the methods used during these movements created space for Jesus to lead His Church and to see how powerful a movement can become when the leader is Jesus and not any man, or group of people. (I am not arguing for anarchy, I will address this issue specifically in another post).

Alan Hirsch says that 95% of evangelical churches subscribe to the contemporary church growth strategies in spite of the fact that there are very few reports of success with these strategies. In the same way that we should pay attention to the methodology that does seem to work, shouldn’t we pay attention to that which clearly doesn’t work. I would like to contend that the reasons these church growth strategies don’t work is because they quench the Spirit. They are led by people who cannot let go of control, and so they setup a system that requires their presence to function.

Don’t believe me? Try this… imagine what would happen if your preacher and song leader slept in on Sunday morning. What would happen when the church gathered together? What would you do? I will leave it up to your imagination to what would happen, but this is what I mean by control. If the absence of one or two people would stop anything significant from happening, I think there is something seriously wrong with your methodology. I think that if this is the case, Jesus is probably not leading that church.

This may sound too harsh.

For the record, let me say that I believe the Lord works in and through all things, good or bad. I believe that the Lord has done amazing work in the lives of millions of individuals through the institutional church. I am in fact a product of that and I am very grateful for my faith heritage. Yet I believe there is a more faithful, holistic, and fruitful way to live in community as followers of Jesus. And it is to that end that I dedicate this blog, and for better or worse, my life.

The Forgotten Ways - part 1

2010-12-20T15:44:00.009-07:00

When you are in seminary you read a lot of books. Some are good, some are hard to stay awake through, others change your life forever, and some just give language and vision to the things you already believe to be true. This falls into the last category for me. Although this is a read that could certainly fall into the "change your life forever" category for some who haven't thought through these ideas yet. It was the most helpful thing I have read thus far in graduate school. I would like to spend some time unpacking it for you. This will take several posts, but its something I think may be very helpful to some of you as it was to me.

I would first like to say, Alan Hirsch is a practitioner. This is helpful to know. He's not one of these guys who only works in the theory world. These theory voices are helpful, but its hard for me to take them without a grain of salt when they haven't staked their lives on their ideas like Hirsch has. Practitioners have not only thought deeply about their ideas, but they are living them out in the real world with real people and have the ability to see real results... good or bad. So remember this as you read the following posts (or better yet if you have time, read the book).

Hirsch lays a foundation by saying, "There are primal forces that lie latent in every Jesus community and in every true believer." He calls this missional DNA. He says we should ask the western church, in light of our current situation, "Will more of the same do the trick? Can we simply rework the tried and true Christendom understanding of church that we so love and understand, and finally, in a ultimate tweak of the system, come up with the winning formula?" I sense a bit of sarcasm in that there seems to be an obvious answer to the question. No.

Hirsch argues, and I fully agree, that we need a whole new vision of reality, "a fundamental change in our thoughts, perceptions and values especially as they relate to our view of the church and mission."

He spoke about how the early church did something absolutely incredible that makes no sense to most westerners as it went against all odds to grow into the most significant religious force in the Roman Empire in only 200 years. In the year AD 100 there were as few as 25,000 Christians. In AD 310 scholars say there were over 20,000,000 followers of Jesus. And just imagine their cultural climate... They were an illegal religion. They had no church buildings. They had no New Testament. They had no professional paid pastors. They had no programs or seeker services. AND They actually made it hard to join the church! So how did they grow from being a small movement to the most significant religious force in the Roman Empire in 2 centuries?

Hirsch says that this is not a freak historical event. He gives the example of the underground church in China. When Mao Tse-tung took power and purged the church, killed/imprisoned all the leadership, took control of the buildings, etc. there were only 2 million Christians in China. Since then there are now more close to 100 million! They have no professional clergy, no official leadership structure, no central organization, no mass meetings yet despite (or maybe because of) these things they have grown like no other movement the church has seen since Constantine came to power. Hirsch says, "I can only suggest that they found it in themselves… this potent coding (missional DNA) is placed within them through the work of the Spirit and by the power of the gospel in the community.” They simply needed a situation to force them to find that which was already in them.

Thank you Mao Tse-tung. You tried to stamp out the Kingdom of God in China. But you cannot stamp out the Spirit's fire. When you try, it simply fans the flames. 100 million Chinese flames and counting.

Stay tuned for more on The Forgotten Ways...

Pirate Monks (Changes part 2)

2010-12-18T13:02:00.005-07:00

This is part 2 of the Changes series. If you didn't read part one it would make a lot more sense in that context, so you should go do that first...

Part 2 is about the "new monastic community" I started in Edwards Hall this semester. It is a group of 10 students at ACU that all live in Edwards. 8 freshmen, 1 sophomore and 1 junior. I was thrilled yet nervous about initiating and leading this community, “Pirate Monks.” I wasn’t sure if there would actually be anyone that would be interested in making this kind of commitment, nor how I would be as a leader of this type of community. Yet I was determined to be faithful to this call that the Lord put on my heart.

Pirate Monks has been a truly a phenomenal expression of covenanted communal discipleship. Ten students committed to a spiritual rule that I thought impossible for college students. They are committed to daily conversation with the Lord, the 10:02 prayer (a prayer for more harvest workers), a soul friend relationship, weekly fasting, reading the Sermon on the Mount three times a week, and meeting with all of their monk brothers every week. They have been far more committed to these rules than I could have ever imagined and it is transforming them deeper into the image of Jesus day by day.

Next semester I am going to begin meeting with them one on one for 30 minutes every other week for coaching. This is something I wanted to do from the beginning but it was difficult to find the time. I think it should be easier at the beginning of the semester to get it going. I also think this will be helpful in one of my seminary courses as we are learning how to be a better life coach. I think it is important to partner education with practice. This should be a good way to combine these two things.

If you are interested in keeping up with more about the Pirate Monks you can visit my other blog that I am beginning that is strictly about that community... piratemonks.blogspot.com

Changes (Part 1)

2010-12-16T12:34:00.007-07:00

This semester was one that had huge potential from the onset. Sara and I made some big decisions this summer and last spring that we knew would spark some really great outcomes this semester. We were leaving our comfy mega-church to participate in what we felt like was a more faithful expression of what we believe the Lord desires his church to be. We moved into a different residence hall and I became a full time employee at ACU. And I was planning to start a new monastic community in the residence hall. So as you can imagine, we were thrilled to get things underway.

The next series of blogs will be about some of these changes mentioned above. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on some of the work the Lord is doing in and through these changes... First things first. Here is the reflection of our change in our expression of the gathered church community. I would also like to throw a disclaimer out for those that know the congregation we were a part of. My descriptions about this particular place, are not indeed about this particular place exclusively. They are more a reflection on our experience of institutional churches. This just happens to be the one we were a part of. Thus I refer to it as "comfy mega-church." I simply use this pseudonym so that those who are there can know that I am truly not attacking them in any way. Hopefully you can find some humor in this.

Let's get started... Because of all of the unique ways that we were planning on making transitions this semester we had really great expectations. Expectations about what it might be like to leave comfy mega-church, and what a simpler form of church would look and feel like.

We had mixed feelings and strong convictions about this change. We believed that we could no longer contribute to the dualistic and consumeristic institution that we had been part of for the last 5 years. The Lord was calling us to something more holistic and faithful to the Church Jesus died to give flight too, something that looked more like the New Testament church. We also hurt knowing the relationships that we would undoubtedly leave behind. Even though I was tied deeper into the community at comfy mega-church because I was on staff, Sara expected to experience the most pain due to leaving the people. I expected to break ties without any consequences or ill emotions (this was foolish). I was simply excited about the change to become more intimate with our new house church community. I was excited about the change to become more like Jesus through the relationships in our house church that went deeper than many had become at comfy mega-church.

The transition from comfy mega-church to the house church has not exactly gone according to our plan. We stuck to our convictions and what we felt the Lord calling us to do, but “the detox” as I have affectionately called it, has been far more painful that I expected. During the first month of the detox I experienced an extreme amount of “emotional flux.” I felt lonely and detached often. I really felt like I had lost a big part of who I was as a human. When you work in a large "successful" church for several years and grow a ministry from next to nothing to the size of the campus ministry when I left, you tend to gain much of your identity from this position. Everyone knows you as the campus ministry guy and when you’re good at it, you like that mantra, as unhealthy as it my be. The difficult part was that I expected to simply jump into intimacy with the people in our house church. I did my best to really jump into it by being as open as I could through both the things I shared with the group, and the honesty of emotion in which I did it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy as that. Others in the group still had a lot of things going on and hadn’t felt the same convictions about stepping out of institutional church (several were and are a part of institutional churches, and thats okay it just slows down our progress a bit because of time constraints). This made it all the more painful. However, I learned that you simply can’t jump into relationship. It takes time and I am beginning to see these relationships form in meaningful ways.

We have come a long way in the last 5 months however. Much faster than I really even thought possible, even if I wanted it to go faster. I really feel great about where our house church is going. Sara and I had Rosten, Ben, Emily, Laura and KT come over this Sunday morning to cook breakfast, eat, play wii and hang out with each other. This is the kind of thing I want to do on a more regular schedule to help our relationships flourish. It is really great to be in community with people that you can play with and truly invest spiritually and otherwise with. Its actually a really rare combination to find both in the same people. We are beginning to see this and it is a blessing.

Like I said this is part one (of 3 or 4 to come in the following days). I haven't even gotten rilled up yet. Talk to ya then.

When Jesus is Everything

2010-12-09T18:43:00.008-07:00

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if when the church you meet with gathered together you literally did nothing that wasn't directly praising Jesus? Do you ever wonder what it would be like if everyone had a place to share their heart and life with everyone else in the room? Or what it would be like if people specifically pointed out how they have seen Jesus at work in your life, and they could do so honestly because they know you so intimately?

Because that's what happened when the church gathered at my brother Kent's house tonight. Sara and I had to show up a tad late because of work, but from the moment we arrived all of our friends were gathered together in the living room meditating on the Lord Jesus. When we sat down we each took the bread and spoke to each other how we had seen Jesus in the lives of other individuals in the room. We did this for about 45 minutes, praising Jesus for the work he was doing in and through each of our sisters and brothers in the room as we shared the bread with each other. It was beautiful. The church was doing what it was designed to do when it is gathered. Build one another up and worship Jesus.

We then shared the wine as we spoke directly to Jesus telling him why we love Him and why we are thankful for him. I shared tears as I was able to express to the church how deeply I am in love Jesus for being able to call him my brother, best friend and King. Each person, regardless of gender, ethnicity, age, economic status, speaking abilities, etc. shared their voice and their life with everyone else in the house. The Lord was glorified and the Body of Christ was built up.

Praise be to our God and our King, our Brother and our Friend, our Great Master and Humble Servant, our Savior and Lord, the Ruler and Creator of both Heaven and Earth, Jesus Christ. All glory to Him in the Church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever. Amen

More Church Rants

2010-12-08T16:07:00.008-07:00

It seems the Lord is stirring up a lot of things in the hearts of several of the people closest to me in regards to the institutional church. And I don't think its just my influence on them that is bringing them to this place. Sure, I am pretty (insert extremely) frustrated with a lot of things happening in the Christendom world. But I am doing my best to allow my friends to go on this journey for themselves in the same way I did. I am trying to be a good friend and partner with them as they experience these frustrations. I am asking them questions to help probe thought and give language to the things they are already feeling and experiencing. It seems the deeper that they go into the leadership of the church the more frustrated they get. I think this is because they are getting to see the roots of the problems, not just the surface level things that the average church-goer sees.

To be honest, I really think the whole system itself is flawed. No amount of program tweaks will solve these issues. I read a book recently that I will probably be blogging about a lot in the near future and beyond. Its called "The Forgotten Ways" by Alan Hirsch. One of the things he says is, "Most theories about congregational life are flawed from the start because they are based on an institutional and mechanical worldview... such a worldview is not biblical. Instead, it is fatalistic and self-serving because the goal is to fix and preserve the institution for as long a life as possible. Such a worldview allows one to focus on mere organizational and institutional survival rather than following Jesus onto the mission field for the purpose of fulling the great commission."

This is the root of the problem for most churches. They exist, not for the sake of the world, nor for the advancement of the Kingdom of God (although they may use this language, in most cases it simply isn't true), but rather they exist for their own survival as a single church. The community is not about me. And it is not only about us, it is also for the sake of the world. For the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

So why are so many churches spending so much time trying to get the people that left their church because the preaching or singing sucked and just went down the road to the other church? Who cares!!! Stop worrying about transfer growth! Its not about you! Its not about your church! Its not even your church in the first place. Its Jesus' church. So stop pretending like you run the show. Step aside. And let Jesus lead his Church!

CAN I PLEASE GET AN AMEN?

For anyone who may be wondering, I do love the Church, Christ's Bride. I do not indeed love the institution we have been trying to keep surviving since Constantine made it the law. But I LOVE Jesus' Bride. After all, I am a part of it.

By This All People Will Know

2010-12-07T14:27:00.009-07:00

I got tested for allergies today. Probably a good thing considering I am allergic to the following: Juniper trees, Virginia Live Oak trees, Mulberry trees, White Ash trees, Pecan trees, Mountain Cedar trees, Wheatgrass, Redtop, Bemuda, Orchard, Fesque, Ragweed, Pigweed, Lamb Quarter, Kochia, Russian Thistle, Sagebrush, Marsh Elder, Cocklebur, English Plantain, Cat, House Dust, Mites, Molds and Mildews. Just to name a few... Or actually all of them that I now know of...

Each time I go to the doctor I think a few things.

1) This sucks.
2) I'm so glad I have a job that gives me good health insurance.
3) There are a LOT of people that dont have insurance and doctors are expensive!

What would it look like if the church was our insurance policy? If church was the kind of community that pulled all of their resources to take care of each other. What would that say to the world? Jesus said, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Or what if we had faith enough that the Lord would heal us if we would just ask.

Still thinking... Not sure where to go from here. Any thoughts?

A Vision for the Church

2010-12-07T10:25:00.003-07:00

Elaine Heath describes the current state of the church in the US as being in a "dark night of the soul." She says there is no guaranty that we will come out of the dark night any better. And while I agree that there is no guaranty, I am very hopeful of the things to come for the church in North America because of men and women, who, like me, are fed up with the churches status quo and yet are passionately in love with Jesus. I believe it is precisely this dark night that is raising up men and women across the country that say no to legalistic and judgmental expressions of Christ’s church. These people will say yes to making space for Christ to lead His Church the way that He so chooses. These people will go into the dark places of the world armed with love in one hand and peace in the other, befriending the spiritually hurting, dirty and dying. The love of Christ will be so obvious among these lost people that they will find themselves falling in love with Him as they participate in His work even before they believe in Him. Authentic families of Jesus will be raised up from out of the mud and the mire and they will truly look like the people of God. They will be radical. They will be holy. They will look a lot like Jesus. And this world will never be the same.

National April Fools Day Prank

2009-04-01T09:13:00.002-06:00

In 1985 Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton.

People will believe anything... In fact, check this one out. Wanna grow your own spaghetti anyone?

In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

I gotta try that!

Try not be fooled to bad today!

The U.S. Mission Field (the West)

2008-08-19T13:20:00.004-06:00

Well my days in the Bronx are over with (as far as I know). I'm back in full swing getting ready for our campus ministry leadership retreat where I'll be helping train all of our LIFE Group leaders and getting ready for the big Fall retreat in September. Then it will be time to start preparing for the 24/7 Prayer movement God started through me last semester at ACU. So its going to be an exciting semester.

It was raining all morning as I was leaving for the airport. And so you guessed it my flight was delayed. And man do I mean delayed! I was supposed to leave at 2PM so I got to the airport around 11:00 and after many adventures in 2 different airports I finally left JFK International at 10PM. I was looking out to the west at the darkness. As I was looking out I was listening to Hillsong one of my favorite worship bands and just praising God for the summer and what He had been doing in my life. As I was doing this I felt the Spirit urging me to pray over these pockets of light (small towns and cities) that I could see from the airplane. So I prayed over them. Then about midnight He started to give me words. Here they are exactly as I wrote them in my journal...

All I need is you Lord.
As I look out to the West from a mile high I see pockets of people.
Because no one wants to be alone,
or maybe no one can exist alone.
All the lights gather.
Is this the remnant?
Will they shine in the dark spaces?

The dark spaces are great in the West
And yet they are so bright.
So different.
They stand out so clearly among all creation
And yet you are a gracious God.
Your clouds cover the whole land.
Your stars look down over all the peoples.

But now I look to the West and see the darkness.
Do you still remain there?
Where is the remnant?
The only light I see is my own,
But it is very bright.
Will it be enough?
It makes a difference,
But no.
It is not enough.

Maybe one here and one there.
Then over there.
Yes!
The light is growing!
More people can see!
But not enough.

I know the enemy has been defeated.
I know this is my heart,
But it is still so dark in the West.
And now as I look out to the West
it is completely dark!

Where has the light gone?
Who will shine?
Who will stand?
Who will go?

I will shine Lord!
I will stand up!
I will go!
I will declare your name wherever I go!
Your name will be on my lips at all times.
My tongue will be undivided.

This house will stand.
Stand on the Rock.
Because there is nothing like your Love.
And your Love is all I need.

All I need is you Lord.
You are everything!
All I need is you Jesus!
Draw close!
Be near to me!
I need more of you Lord.

You will be my food.
The world doesn't know about my food.
But I will show them.
I will feed them.

But I must remember,
It is not the servant who sustains those who eat.
It is the food that sustains those who eat.
And the servant needs the food most of all.
So draw close Lord.
I need more of you Jesus.

But the world around me is starving.
Even the man next to me.
Why does he hate the servant?
I only want to provide food.
Maybe he can't see clearly.
The light is not clear to him,
it only blinds him.
And he blocks it out with heavy eyelids.
And yet your servant loves him
Because you love him Lord.

Will he ever see clearly?
Please Lord!
Show him!
He needs you!
He will die!
He needs food!
Sustain him Lord!

Am I failing you?
Am I a good enough worker?
I'm trying Lord
but as I work I get tired.
I get hungry.
Feed me.
Give me rest.
Its all I ask because
You are all I need!

I do need you Lord.
Its so much more than a desire
More than an urge
More than a wish
I hunger Lord
I starve for you
You alone can sustain me.
Feed me Lord
Give me rest
Jesus hold me into your Heart!
Take me deeper Lord!
Take me deeper Lord!

Aug 12, 2008 12:00AM

We badly need workers in this country. So few know the Lord. And even fewer really know the Lord. Pray to the Lord of the harvest for more workers.

I love you all so much and am eternally grateful for your support and your prayers in this partnership. I could have never had this experience without you and I pray that you have been blessed by partnering with me in this mission.

Job well done good and faithful servants.

Columbia University

2008-07-26T16:22:00.002-06:00

I went to Columbia University this Monday morning to do some campus ministry "research." I was hoping to find out how the Gospel might be embodied on a campus like Columbia. The campus was busy with high school hopefuls on tours of the campus. When I first got on to campus I went to the guest services/main library building and picked up some info and a map. They had all college students working in the guest services area and the library was pretty empty. Then I went to the student center. It had a small place for people to eat: Asian, pastries, and a salad/wrap place, all squeezed into one tight little area. Not a great place for large groups, but possibly a good place to meet someone eating by themselves. (I meet lots of people that way) Outside of that room sat a girl at an info booth. So I got some info.

We talked for a while and she shared her experience with the University. She said it was hard to find her nitch at first but she has loved Columbia since she found her place. She said hardly anyone on campus has any school spirit, but everyone has New York City spirit. “There really is something for everyone here” she said as she listed off about 30 student organizations that she knew of or had at least visited. There is even a club for Ronald Regan fans.

Then I went to explore a little more. In the main area of the student center several clubs and organizations had big signs advertising themselves. There were several advertisements for spiritual groups. Among them: Falun Dafa [A powerful practice to improve body, mind and spirit based on universal principles (included a picture of several people meditating on the lawn)], Apostolos Campus Ministry, Korean Christian Students Association, Peace by Peace, Adventist Christian Fellowship, United Campus Ministries (Baptist, Buddhist, Campus Crusade, Catholic, Episcopal, Ethical Humanist, Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Jewish, Lutheran, Methodist, Muslim, Presbyterian, Unitarian Universalist) After being in New York for 8 weeks the pluralism didnt surprise me at all, but it was still really sad to see. There are so many college students searching to fill the void in their life and not many looking to the only source that can fill it, Jesus Christ. This is one of the downfalls of the Postmodern generation I am a part of. So many believe there are many ways to find a complete life and to find Salvation. But Jesus said, "I AM the way the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me." In the Gospel of John.

Later I went to sneak (I'm very sneaky haha) around in the student association office areas. There were a lot of students working on planning different events and things throughout the office areas. So I started some conversation with them and someone gave me a book with the real low down on Columbia. It had not been reviewed by Columbia before being published and was written completely by students. It had everything from food service, to professors; from athletics to the drug scene. The food got a D-, The academics got an A- because most of the professors could care less about their students. Athletics got an F with several students commenting “we have sports here?” The drug scene got a B with the major choice of drugs being marijuana. They got a B because apparently the campus police don’t do much to stop it at all. As long as you don’t cause a disturbance they will leave you alone.

I didn’t find anyone that was involved in any of the religious student organizations so I’m not sure how effective or present they are on campus. It sounds like they might have a good amount of watered down Christianity from the little I found out about those groups. At least with the whole United Campus Ministries thing. It seems like it would be a very interesting place to do ministry. There seems to be a lot of open-mindedness on campus and it would be relatively easy to start conversation and share your testimony with people on campus.

Afterwards I spent the rest of my time prayer-walking the campus praying for individuals as I passed them and for the incoming freshman class around the nation and then found myself praying for ACU and praying for the Lord to raise up workers for the harvest. Columbia could definitely come to know the Lord, but it needs workers, because there are very few. Pray for more workers. Pray for them to have Apostolic boldness about their faith. Pray for the spiritual battle going on throughout the campuses of America. If we don't rise up to the occasion and pray for these campuses we will have a lost generation and eventually a lost Nation. Pray.

¡Power Hour!

2008-07-17T11:04:00.006-06:00

Every Friday the 4 other interns and I head over to the projects at Pelham Bay in the Bronx to do a VBS type thing with the kids. They have a little playground area in the center of the apartment buildings where a lot of the kids hang out and a few parents watch. The Bronx Fellowship (the house Church network I'm working with) has been going there for about 5 summers in a row now to put on Power Hour for the kids there so they all expected us from the beginning of the summer.

When we get there we round up all the kids and start singing children's worship songs. Some of there favorites are "I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N" "The Sea of Galilee" "If You Love Jesus" and "Who Rocks the House" (My Jesus rocks the house!)

Then we will do a short Bible lesson. So far we have taught them things like How much God loves them, the 2 Greatest Commands, The Wise and Foolish Builders, and How Jesus fills the hole in their heart.

Then we play some kind of game like, "Boom" "The Human Knot" "Jordan Says" or "Freeze Tag" And of course what would Power Hour be without snacks? Afterwards we give them a cup of juice and a snack. And then we will play ball or frisbee with the kids that are still hanging around.

It has been an incredible blessing to play with those kids. They are so great and so fun to be around and they absolutely love getting to hang out with us. There aren't a lot of older people (especially males) who will spend any time playing with them or loving on them. It breaks my heart that almost none of them know what a healthy family looks like. It has really given me a new perspective on why Jesus loves kids so much. They really have a lot to teach us about Kingdom living.

"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them." ~Mark 10:14-16

As I sat down Sunday afternoon talking with some members of the house Church Isaiah hopped up into my lap to play his PSP. And at that moment I knew why Jesus was so upset when the disciples tried to get the kids off of Him, because you couldn't have pried Isaiah away from my lap with the jaws of life.

Isaiah doesn't have a father, his mother has little to nothing to do with him and so his grandmother raises him while working full time as a nurse in the Bronx. I hope that in the little time I'm here with Isaiah I can show him some of the Love that His Father in Heaven lavishes on him. I know one thing is for sure. The Father is transforming me daily and using the little ones to do his transforming work.

Pray that the Lord of the Harvest would raise up more workers. Pray that people would come to know Jesus and that the Great Healer would bring healing and restoration to families. Pray that mothers and fathers would learn from their children. Pray that the Saints in the Bronx would be stirred to pray for their city. Pray that God would bring justice, and quickly.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." ~Ephesians 6:12

We can't just try to physically fix everything. No amount of money given, homes repaired, food bought, clothes given away, or medical attention will ever help without your prayers, because this battle is not against flesh and blood. These are all good things for us to do that the Father smiles on, but without our prayers it is all in vain. Pray without ceasing. Its what Jesus did.

"One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God." ~Luke 6:12

Jesus, Life, Baseball, Church, Careers, and Books

2008-07-11T17:28:00.005-06:00

I have been spending a lot of time on the Lehman College campus hanging out with people, making friends, playing basketball, prayer walking and planting some Gospel seeds in some hearts along the way. Its amazing how the Lord will use you if you simply ask him. Before going on campus every day I will pray for the Lord to take my body and use it. I pray that I will be emptied and that the Holy Spirit would fill me up with His awesome power. Luke 13:11 says, "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" So I ask and He gives.

I have had so many excellent conversations with people on this campus who are so lost. And the sad thing is, they have no clue they are lost. Through this, I've discovered one of Satan's biggest tools is making people busy. Because if you are busy, you never have time to think. And as long as he can keep you from thinking you will never find Truth. Through conversations with people on campus I have been able to share how much Jesus has taken a hold of my heart and how I've never been the same since.

In a conversation with Anthony, journalism major, sports writer, and avid Mets fan (which is rare in the Bronx) I was able to share my testimony, and express how much I really believed that Jesus loves me and loves him just as much.

I shared how I am an adventurer kind of guy and how Jesus was so cool to me because He was always doing outrageous things. He spend 30 days in the wilderness without food or water, He went sailing and then when the storm got to big made it stop, He actually walked across water, He shared meals with the "scum of the earth" kinds of people, He defied the Roman Empire by refusing to speak to its royalty when in questioning, He yelled some serious warnings against the religious gurus of the time, and did I mention He tore up the temple because he was furious at what was going on in there.

Jesus is a mans man. And thats a King, I can dig.

Anthony was pretty impressed by Jesus. It definitely wasn't the same Jesus he has heard about smiling and petting a baby lamb with his blue eyes and pristine shiny teeth. This was a guy worth getting to know. A guy worth following. Even a guy you could fall in love with. And there's not a doubt left in Anthony's mind that I am madly in love with my Lord. Anthony and I talked for a couple more hours about Jesus, life, baseball, the church, current books we were reading and possible future careers.

Will Anthony be baptized? Will he find a church home in the Bronx? Will he ever search for more answers about Jesus? Will he read the Gospels? Will he become a missionary? I'm not sure. But I know one thing. I made a new friend. And I got to tell my new friend about the one who changed everything for me.

1 Corinthians 3:6 says, "I [Paul] planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow." I planted the seed. Maybe I'll even get a chance to water it some more. But now its time to pray. Pray for Anthony. Pray that God will make Anthony grow into a tree that bears a lot of fruit. Pray that the Lord of the harvest will send out more workers. Prayer I will make some new friends here. Pray for my boldness. Pray. He wants to hear from you.

World Peace

2008-06-26T11:58:00.003-06:00

Every Wednesday and Friday we have been setting up a prayer table for people at Grand Concourse and Fordham RD in the Bronx. We let them write their prayers and then pray with them right out on the street. I’ve written about this before but something very interesting happened today at the prayer table. For the first hour everyone that came to the table wanted to pray for world peace. I know it seems cliché because of countless “Miss America” contestants. However we weren’t talking to people trying to suck up to the entire country, and they are certainly no Miss America contestants.

We were talking to people with broken families, drug addictions, health problems, friends and family in prison, gang members, you name it. And what do they want from God? World peace. No one had ever come to us with this prayer, but today everyone wanted it. I felt like God was trying to share something with us.

So we prayed for world peace.

I find it remarkable in a culture where there are so many physical, emotional, and spiritual needs that people (some Christian, many not) look past their own needs and pray for the needs of the people of the world.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
~Jesus

Interestingly enough, after the first hour, everyone wanted prayers for their families. Health problems, broken relationships, rebellious children, salvation of family members, ect. God was teaching us an important lesson today. We can change the world, but not if we don’t start with ourselves and our own family. Our catalyst for change? God. How? Pray.

Pray for your family. Pray for the world. Don’t just pray for world peace. Pray for the Prince of Peace to be known and worshipped across the world. That will bring peace. That will bring Salvation. Wasn’t it Jesus that said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” We are called to go out into the world and bring the Prince of Peace wherever we go.

1 John 5:4 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” I think there is nothing God wants more than to see His children come back to Him. So lets pray that it happens… with confidence in His action.

Beware though. He may just choose you to make it happen.

Time with the Father...

2008-06-19T22:05:00.002-06:00

The Lord has been taking me on quite the journey. The movement has been from what I “clearly knew” was full time worship ministry, to a mix of campus ministry, and the 24/7 prayer movement, and now he’s putting this church planting thing all over my map. In the same way that I didn’t even know what campus ministry was, nor the 24/7 prayer movement, God has just been throwing church planters at me left and right. My plan for this summer originally was to do some sort of campus ministry research/exploring along the West Coast. What did God decide to do with me instead? A church planting internship in the Northeast.

He has a funny way of turning our plans upside down. Maybe that’s just the problem, we think they are “our plans.” Instead the Lord says, “I know the plans I have for you.” They are the Lord’s plans. How foolish to think otherwise.

That being said, I’m not worried about the future. I’ve done enough of that. When we start to worry about the future and make our own plans I am convinced that God turns them around just to remind us who is in control.

However I am still a planner. And that’s okay. I’m not worried about the future, but to not think about it, and prepare for it would be foolish as well. Jesus prepared for His ministry by spending 40 days alone in the desert. A man could do some serious thinking in the desert. I’m sure most (or all) of His time was spent in conversation with His Dad. Asking the Father what His plans were for Him. Submitting to His Dad in every way. And being totally satisfied by the Father’s love.

This is the kind of planning I would like to do. And so I have been finding a good amount of time to be alone (or as alone as you can be in this city). Time reflecting on my experience here in the Bronx. Time assessing my ministry in Abilene over the past 3 years. Time thinking about my ecclesiology. Time talking to the Father. Time soaking up what He has to say back. Time meditating on His word. Time to be still… and just know who He is, and who I am as one of His sons (Heb 2:11).

I’ll share more detail on these thoughts later… Keep praying for my clarity in the search for His good, pleasing and perfect will.

I’ll cover you! Move in! Move in!

2008-06-12T08:57:00.002-06:00

Last weekend we took a group of 20 teens from the Bronx camping and playing paintball in Pennsylvania. Only 2 of them had ever played paintball and none of them had been camping. Growing up in Texas this just seemed crazy! It was so funny to see these tough kids who grew up in the Bronx be scared out of there mind when it got dark in the woods. One of them threw their flashlight into the woods when he “heard a bear.”

I went on a little hike with two of the guys and two girls. We hiked through the enormously tall trees of PA to this little brook. It was beautiful! The water was crystal clear and they were all loving every bit of it. We had some good conversation about creation, life and the NFL along the way. That night we had a short small group discussion about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus and God’s endless supply of 2nd chances. I talked to one of the guys who was asking lots of questions afterwards to see if he wanted to meet up regularly to talk about Jesus and read some stories about him. He sounded like it was something he really wanted to do. More on that later…

The next day we played 8 hours of paintball in the countries top paintball venue. It was pretty incredible. Heath and I taught them some lessons about the power of teamwork. Well not verbally, but by the way we took them all out working together haha. I wont say anything else about paintball except that you can call me Rambo now if you want…

The teens talked about nothing but “war stories” (of paintball) the whole 3 ½ hour ride back to NYC. Building relationships with these guys was definitely the highlight of the weekend. I look forward to getting to know them more. They are getting together on Saturday for a teen house church meeting. Most of them have either never been or are not regulars. We are going to hang out with them in the park this Sunday afternoon. Maybe play some backyard football or frisbee.

Be in prayer that these relationships wont fade after a weekend together in the woods, but that they will continue to grow together as friends and in relationship with the Father.

Take it to the Streets!

2008-06-06T12:40:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was simply amazing! If you followed any of the prayer movement stuff at ACU last semester then imagine that on the biggest intersection in the Bronx, NY. Well, sort of… We didn’t have a tent or anything, but we did have a table, and an incredible God. We set up a table on top of a bridge on one of the busiest intersections in the Bronx, Grand Concourse and Fordham RD. On the table we had several Bibles to hand out, some literature about the Bronx Fellowship, free conversational English lessons, and Camp Shiloh, and a bifold dry-erase board with the words “Can we pray for you?” and “Write your prayers here.” The 5 of us interns also wrote our prayers on the board.

Three of our team members did a prayer walk around the surrounding area for an hour while Clarissa and I stood at the table. As we stood we prayed that the Lord’s presence would be great in that place, that people would be drawn in by His presence, and that people would be open to share their brokenness, among prayers of thanksgiving and other things.

We stood there for a good 10 minutes feeling a bit awkward and getting some strange looks and sneering comments, before anyone stopped to say anything. The first two ladies to stop were sisters and one of their sons was in ICU with cancer. They wrote it on the board, so I asked them about him and asked if I could pray with them. As I started to pray the Spirit really took hold of my words. Words of comfort, compassion, healing and great faith flowed out of my mouth like never before. They thanked us for the prayers and for being there and went on their way.

While I was praying with the two sisters another young lady, Kim, came up to talk to Clarissa. She wrote a prayer for her kids and stated to ask the both of us about what we were doing. She thought it was especially cool, and wanted more information. She even asked us if we (the church) would come to her house. (Since that is what we do) We enthusiastically agreed! She gave us her contact info, took a Bible, and went on her way.

Then there was Alexia. He was about 24-28 year old guy and he simply came up and wrote, “Lord, be with me in this time of crisis.” I asked Alexia what he meant, “time of crisis.” And he replied telling me about how he was about to move into a homeless shelter because he was being kicked out of his apartment. I asked him if I could pray there on the street for him and he agreed. Once again the Spirit took over my prayer. As I prayed, he interrupted and said, “I don’t have a job either, could you pray for that too” so we continued to pray. He thanked me and jogged across the street to smoke a cigarette on the next corner.

Thanks be to the God who answers prayers and loves His children.

Keep those prayers coming!

P.S. Kim called us before we were able to call her. She wants to study the Bible with us.

In the Bronx

2008-06-03T21:07:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting in the airport at Kansas City waiting for my connecting flight to New York City, and the Lord is already blessing me with conversation. We had a pretty empty flight, and it was at 6:25AM so everyone was asleep, except me and Malloi (it means butterfly). She was a 25 year old refugee from the Congo who works in the George Bush Tollway. Their country has been at war for many years. Her mom took her and her siblings to the US out of fear for their lives in 2002. We talked about families, my brothers wedding, her recent wedding, the war in Congo, and the book of Revelation. Trust me, I didn't bring that up! Haha. I'm not big on "end times evangelism." But apparently that's what God wanted us to talk about this morning. She asked why I was going to NYC so I told her about my internship with the house churches. She seemed very interested but was personally more into the TV evangelist thing. We talked for a while about some of those guys and our disappointments with how they have represented Christians. We talked about Jesus and she told me how important prayer had been in her life, living in a country under attack. We only had an hour together in the plane, but it was a great start to the summer. Many more conversations to come. Time to hop on the next plane!

Sooooo... I typed that and then forgot to send it off. It is now Tuesday...

The first two days (Sunday and Monday) I was feeling very overwhelmed. I've been told a million times, "there are people every where in NYC." Well, they were right! I think its kind of a mix of the massive amounts of people, the huge culture shift, the non-stop city, family, friends, and Sara being back home, and the fact that its hard to be alone that have really shaken me the past couple of days. But today was so much better. I talked to Heath (one of the guys on my team) and called Sara to talked to her about it and let her pray for me.

Today was much better. I started to get a better picture of what I would be doing. I got to visit Bronx Community College for the first time (it was a short visit) but it still helped me get a little bit of a feel for the campus. So I am very excited about some ministry opportunities there. I am going to go explore and prayer walk the rest of the campus and Lehman College tomorrow afternoon to see where the Lord is leading me and where their might be some opportunities to break into some of the smaller communities within the campuses.

Pray for my awareness to the Spirits movings that He would lead me to the place He is already at work. Pray that I would be bold with my faith and that the harvest would be ripe. Most of all, pray for more workers.

Much Love.

Another Tragedy on Campus

2008-02-14T23:57:00.003-07:00

Today at Northern Illinois University there was a school shooting. The reports are not consistent but approximately 17 people were shot and 5 or 6 were killed, plus the assumed suicide of the shooter. Why does this happen on college campuses so frequently? Why is there so much hate in the world that people decide they need to take someone else's life?

Well as you know today is Valentines Day. The "Day of Love" if you will. I have to say that the as horrible and tragic as 5-7 people having their lives taken from them today that is not the real tragedy. The real tragedy is the absence of Love. The tragedy is the presence of Hate. What if someone had shown love to this college student? What if instead of feeling like he had no one he had a Christ-like community of people surrounding him that knew him deeply? One that knew the hurt and built up anger deep inside of him and that loved him despite that. It would have changed his life! It would have changed the life of Northern Illinois University. It would have changed the world.

I'll leave you with the lyrics of some hippies you may know well...

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Oh yeah, and Jesus, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Uncreated One

2008-01-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

Holy Uncreated One
Your beauty fills the skies
But the glory of Your majesty
Is the mercy in Your eyes

Worthy Uncreated One
From heaven to earth come down
You laid aside Your royalty
To wear the sinner's crown

O Great God, be glorified
Our lives laid down
Yours magnified
O Great God, be lifted high
There is none like You

Jesus, Savior, God's own son
Risen, reigning Lord
Sustainer of the Universe
By the power of Your word

And when we see Your matchless face
In speechless awe we'll stand
And there we'll bow with grateful hearts
Unto the Great I am

O Great God, be glorified
Our lives laid down
Yours magnified
O Great God, be lifted high
There is none like You

~Chris Tomlin

Great song! Just thought I'd share it with you.

The End is Near... maybe?

2007-12-19T15:10:00.000-07:00

Almost my whole life I have laughed off people who made the claim, "The end is near!" And rightly so. Many have claimed to know the exact date that the Lord would return and mark the end of the world as we know it. That is just ridiculous and anyone trying to research and study to find out when Jesus will return is completely wasting their time. Scripture tells us that not even the Son of Man knows the hour, only the Father. But recently I have heard more and more talk about this being the generation that will bring about a great revival, reformation, restoration and possibly even "the end."

Why all of this talk now? What is so different about this generation from any other? What evidence is there of this generation bringing about this "great revival?"

I'm currently reading "The Blueprint: A Revolutionary Plan to Plant Missional Communities on Campus" by Jaeson Ma. In his preface he said something I had never heard and it really caused me to think... He said, since Roe v. Wade legalized abortion in 1973 there have been well over 47 million abortions in the United States alone! That is the equivalent of taking the population of New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, San Antonio, Dallas, San Diego, and San Jose (the top 10 biggest cities in the country) doubling their population, and executing every person! This is a genocide that is unmatched in the history of the world. And you didn't even know it! did you? Because I had no idea the numbers where this huge!

Satan is on the attack! But why this generation? Why is Satan so worried about the people of this generation that he is willing to kill all of them before he has a chance to corrupt them?

If we look at the Bible we see only 2 examples of this degree of genocide on a generation. These occurred during the time of Moses, and Jesus. Jaeson Ma says, "Satan attacked both of those generations, attempting to kill off every baby boy in the land. Why did those generations face satanic opposition? It is because the enemy understood the destiny each [person] possessed in bringing revival according to God's timetable."

"Right now," according to Ma, "the third revival generation is taking place. Two thousand years after the birth of Jesus, another generation has been destined for a great historic revival. The enemy knows that these individuals have the power to finish history. As a result, he is using every possible means, including abortion, to attempt to kill them off."

Ma believes that just as God protected Moses and Jesus that He will protect those of us He has called. But this time God hasn't just raised up a single deliverer (i.e. Moses or Jesus). He has raised up a whole generation of deliverers!

You have been chosen by God to be a deliverer! Will you stand up to the call? Will you Go? Are you living your life like it is your own or have you died to your flesh?

The Apostle Paul says in Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

So now I leave you with what may be the toughest question anyone will ever ask you, because it will demand that you not only give an answer, but that you mold your entire life around that answer.

What are you living for?

Worship Come to Its Senses: Part Five

2007-12-14T00:46:00.001-07:00

Journal,
"What sense of hope does Christian worship offer?" asks Saliers, to begin his final chapter in Worship Come to Its Senses. He suggests that sometimes we confuse hope with optimism. Being nice and happy are not signs of hope. This is not only a problem with fellowship with people but can be mistaken for hope in preaching and praying as well. If all we do in worship is comfort and console and never awaken a desire for the promises of God, then we only present half of the Gospel. Likewise, if we only present a self-help Gospel on how to improve our lives now, and don't address our dependance on Grace then the Gospel is being undermined.

Remembering the hope by praising, thanking, confessing, and interceding is at the hear of Christian life and Christian worship. The present hope is that we are crossing over from bondage to freedom, and from death to life! The laments that we talked about earlier, both done communally and individually assume that human hope is ultimately rooted in God alone. The act of crying out to someone in lament points to the fact that we hope to be heard.

Saliers says, "Christian hope is acquired as a gift in the process of living and worshiping in a community shaped over time by the whole story of God and the world, of nature and history, of heaven and earth together."

There are two kinds of hope for Christians. There is hope beyond this world, and hope for this world. If we only focus on hope beyond this world, we will lose sight of the hope we have now and we will miss the grace of God at the hear of the Church's mission. And if we focus solely on the hope for this world and never on the hope of sitting in the Throne with Jesus that is promised to us in Revelation 3-5, then we will be barren and unfruitful.

Henri Nouwen once said, "Hope is trusting that something will be fulfilled, but fulfilled according to the promises and not just according to our wishes." Waiting for hope is not passive, it is active! Saliers tells the story of a woman who skeptically went to a healing service with a friend. They took the Eucharist and then went to specific places where they were anointed for healing of the body, memory, relationships, and inner turmoil. She described it as a profound act of hope. She now says of the Lord's supper that, "[it] has taken on the meaning of healing to me now, I never knew that before." We have somewhere to take pain and hope. Jesus Christ.

Worship then, is the continual rehearsal of God's hope for us.

Jordan

Worship Come to Its Senses: Part Four

2007-12-13T18:23:00.001-07:00

Journal,
"Sooner or later, all praise and thanksgiving, all that we preach, sing and pray must come to the court of truth." Saliers. Today we must ask ourselves, why do our services of worship not ring true to some people, even ones who regularly attend church. It would be easy for us to blow this off by saying something I have heard all too often, "we can't please everybody all the time." I think this is just a weak copout. We are commanded to "worship in spirit and in TRUTH." There are two kinds of truth in worship. Truth about God, and truth about ourselves. In the tradition I am a part of, we usually do really well on the first, and fall quite short on the latter.

"Christian liturgy" Saliers says, "is first and last praising, adoring, and thanking God in, with, and through Jesus Christ in the power of the Spirit." Sometimes however, we hide behind our praise and thanks rather than being radically honest to God with our lives. "Acknowledging God involves encountering the truth about the human story." This means that we must admit to our humanness in order to come before God truthfully in worship. This is vital for worship ministers and liturgists, "We come to the truth when [and only when] liturgy comes to its senses.

As in all of the Christian life, we must use Jesus as our model of truth telling. He spoke the truth boldly, but out of love, and sometimes showed his righteous anger. Dishonesty will distort our prayers and our praise. Jesus spoke to his Father in complete truth. When He was in the garden He told His Father, "let this cup pass from me." He was crying out to God out of truth saying, I don't want to do this! but if it is your will, then I will."

There are three practical ways we can come to truth in our worship services: lamentation, confession, and testimony.

There are very few occasions I ever remember lamentation in worship services, but I remember often feeling deep pain and sorrow, and us singing nothing but praise songs. Needless to say my heart was not in it. There are very few songs that express lament. One of the few I can think of is a newer one by Matt and Beth Redman, "Blessed Be Your Name." Saliers says, "our avoidance of lament has a strange result, it opens a great gulf between our liturgies and our lives." As I said before, this has been true so often with me.

Confession has also been mostly avoided in many traditions. Redemptive confession is not wallowing in guilt, moaning about how terrible you are. Confession can be extremely liberating when expressed by telling God and the Church what holds you bondage.

Testimony then, is when a person shares their story about the bondage that once held them captive but how they have received the Grace of God and how it set them free from the chains of sin and death.

"Unless we overcome our reluctance to share our faith experiences honestly in lament, confession, and testimony our Sunday gatherings will remain routine," and lack truth. "So we must be about stretching ourselves to bring the ancient and contemporary forms to life, and to bring all our life's experience to the God of truth." Then we will be able to worship God in both Truth.

Jordan

Worship Come to Its Senses: Part Three

2007-12-13T16:08:00.000-07:00

Journal,
As was the last reflection on "awe" in worship this may be quite site (church) specific. Some worship services I have been a part of where filled with delight and joy, others seemed almost dead. However, most of the worship services I have been a part of had a kind of strange mix of emotions, varying from person to person. Of course my judgment on this is based on what I see and hear physically from people, which can only measure so much, but is typically a pretty good measuring tool.

Maybe all to often we feel an obligation to worship. We must "go to worship" because our friends or family will give us a hard time if we don't. Or we must go because "thats what the Bible says." Or I have even heard, we must go because "God needs our worship." (YA RIGHT! like the Creator of the Universe really needs our approval) When we start to ask these questions have we lost a sense of sheer delight in God?

The Israelites had a kind of marriage to God. I'll save you all the love-obligation metaphors, because I'm sure you've heard them all but this is at the heart of biblical worship. Saliers says, "We are to praise and bless God even when we don't feel like it, only to discover, in doing so, that God is our first love and the wellspring of all enjoyment... What we adore and revere we praise and delight in."

Saliers suggests that the chief end of man, or the purpose for which we were created is "to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever." If we don't have this in our worship services, where else will we find it? We must remember that our very existence is a gift freely given.

Don't get me wrong, you can't always be happy. Over half of the Psalms were written in lament. Saliers says, "no one can sustain delight-taking all the time, at lease in the sense of being on a natural high. To live attentively and intensely is also to suffer." I have had many seasons in my life where I was very much a "winter Christian" as Dr. Beck a Psychology professor at ACU says. These were seasons of darkness in not understanding God and why life and ministry can be so difficult, but it is in these times that I grew immensely. Saliers talks about short lived pleasures like a child winning a prize at a fair, and the brief "joy" that the child feels. "Part of growing up is learning to tell the difference between the childish delights of good luck and the deeper, longer lasting enjoyments of something well done or of a love cultivated over time." This is the kind of love we have for our Father, and should be the delight that we express in worship in both the seasons of "winter" and "summer." This is why the Apostle Paul writes, Rejoice always... give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) because he had "learned the secret to being content in all circumstances." God is not asking us to thank Him for pain, but asking us to give thanks for the Love of God in all circumstances.

Jordan

Worship Come to Its Senses: Part Two

2007-12-12T21:52:00.001-07:00

Journal,
Whatever happened to awe? It's a question I ask often, because over the past semester I have seen a huge need for this sense of awe. I have had many struggles in different worship services. Sometimes I struggle with apathy, boredom, and being over critical in worship. But to be honest, awe is something I rarely struggle with. Sadly I can't attribute this to very many of the Church worship services I've been a part of. I developed a sense of awe from a few sources. A few Don Saliers also talks about like: nature, reading and hearing about the vastness of the universe and the limits of humans, and in the birth of my baby niece.
I feel like far too often we lose this sense of being in awe of the presence of God in our worship services. I have to speak on this from a strange stance, through conversations I've had. I have to speak from this rather than personal experience, because God has been radically showing me His presence in so many ways over the past year. But being involved in the lives of so many people on campus and at Southern Hills, I constantly talk to people who don't feel anything and haven't been able to grasp even a glimpse of the Grandeur of God. They want to badly, but they haven't seen it yet.
We have some pretty awesome encounters with God in Scripture: the burning bush, the crossing of the Red Sea, the mount of transfiguration, and the vision of a new Jerusalem. Saliers says, "unless we bring to the speaking, the singing, the praying, and the meal our sense of life and death, the liturgies will remain 'churchy.'" and the mystery of God will not be shown.
So how do we do this? Saliers says there are but five ways to accomplish that (which is pretty lame to limit it to five ways, but here are his ways).
1) Reawaken a view of the grandeur and intricacy of the natural world. One practical way to do this is on a retreat. Spend a good portion of the retreat outside and it will bring a great rhythm to the weekend.
2) Expose them to a current knowledge of the vastness of the universe and the limits of our own perspectives. This has been especially formative for me. I especially remember Louie Giglio's keynote at a Chris Tomlin concert, on his "How Great is Our God" tour. Wow! Did we ever get a picture of the BIG God we serve!
3) A Funeral Service. The whole church can grieve and celebrate their friends and loved ones in the face of the mystery of our mortality.
4) The joy of a newborn baby. This helps us to see the extraordinary grace of God. And the awesome being it must take to make life from nothing.
5) Healing services. "For the heart of Christian worship is the promise that Jesus Christ stands in our midst, ready to receive us, to heal and give blessing.
I would add one more HUGE one that had been extremely formative to me. The Eucharist. I have been so amazed at God on many occasions when I take of the Lord's Supper. I am awestruck that I along with saints from across the globe and across time can all come together at the table and eat and drink our Lord Jesus Christ. We must bring back a sense of awe to our time together at the table.
When we get back this sense of awe, "this is when we learn again to offer our lives, all we have an all we are, in adoration of God." This is true worship.

Jordan

Worship Come to Its Senses: Part One

2007-12-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a short book called "Worship Come to Its Senses" by Don Saliers and I'll be writing a five part journal over the next few days about it and posting it here. So I hope you enjoy...

Journal,
After reading the intro to Worship Come to its Senses, I am pretty excited about the book. It is apparent that Don Saliers and I share some of the same frustrations with modern American Christian Worship. And according to Saliers, its time to “Come to [our] senses about this.”

Saliers says that "this book is an invitation to think again about how and why we worship God, and to awaken our hearts and minds to a fresh perspective." This is what excites me. I am very passionate about worship and I feel like this is going to be the book that I shout "AMEN" at throughout the book.

He brings a good point in saying, "To see ourselves from another point of vies, and to discern what keeps us from flourishing, requires questions from the outside." So often we only ask people on the inside about why we can't reach the outside though our worship. Maybe we should ask the outside. I will be very interested to hear more about what he has to say on this subject.

Saliers also says, "After the past quarter-century's wide spread effort at liturgical reform there is a deeper hunger for a renewed connection between liturgy and life, between common prayer and ministry... many people today are yearning for a truly evangelical and sacramental liturgy." One of the main things I took from my Christian Worship class is how meaningful liturgy written specifically to your congregation can be powerfully life changing to the members of your Church.

I really like that he is going to talk about the senses in worship and how engaging in all of them can be powerful. He says, "Christian worship is physically, socially, and culturally embodied."

This should be an exciting journey to see how worship in the life of the Church can once again "Come to Its Senses."

Until then,
Jordan

Order of Worship

2007-12-09T14:36:00.001-07:00

I have decided that from time to time I will post an order of worship that I have planned under the leadership of the Spirit for the people God has placed me in leadership for. (I say it that way because I lead a few different groups of people, anything from my LIFE Group of about 18 to the people at Southern Hills of about 500 at our Wednesday night service to ACU chapel of about 4000). I'll let you know the context of the people and place each time, because this is a huge factor in planning worship. I want to post these so that you can use them or use parts of them in planning meaningful experiences in worship, or to inspire you to write your own liturgies as well. I pray that these will help create space for God to transform hearts.

The orders of worship I will post will typically (but not always because some contexts are not conducive for this) follow this basic outline because I believe this is they way the Lord has called me to lead worship.

-Gather- The first thing we do in worship is come together as the Body of Christ
-Confess- Next we must confess that we are human and therefore imperfect.
-Praise- Because Jesus gives us Salvation and freedom from our imperfectness we must give Him praise.

-Word- Next we move into a time with the Word or preaching to hear God speak to us
-Table- This is the climax of Christian worship. It must be connected to the Word. The table is what brings us together as a people and is the supreme symbol of the presence of God among His people. It is at the table that we have direct communion with the Divine and with His people.
-Offering/Sending- Here we offer our lives as a sacrifice to the living God and go out into the world to be Kingdom agents.

This first order of worship is for my LIFE Group. My LIFE Group consists of about 18 college students from ACU and Cisco. We have met weekly over the past semester and have had discussion over the Gospel of Luke. Tonight is our last meeting for the semester and ends our discussion in Luke. This is a service of worship centered around the cross.

Gather
• “We come here together with wondering minds, because we have so much on them. Thoughts of papers, projects, and finals. Some of us are making decisions that will change the rest of our lives and searching for God’s will in those decisions. Others of us are just trying to make it past finals week. But amidst all of these thoughts we set aside this time be still… together as a community of faith, and celebrate Immanuel, God with us.”
• Play O Come, O Come Immanuel while writing confession
Confess
• (Write on a note card your confession to God and put it in the box)
• “As we come together we confess that we are a people unworthy of Immanuel. We try to contemplate how it could be that such a love could be possible that the Great Creator would come to earth and become human, and freely die for shameful men and women like us. And so we confess that we are undeserving.”
• Why Did My Savior Come to Earth? (vs. 1&2)
Praise
• “We have asked ourselves and each other why we are worthy of Immanuel. And yet we still have no answer. But none the less we have still been freely given the gift of “God with us.“ And so the only response we can think of is to give Him the praise He so richly deserves.”
• He is Lifted Up
• He is Exalted
• O Come Let Us Adore Him
Word
• Luke 23:26 - 24:12
Table
• “People of God, we come to the table after a semester long conversation about the life of Jesus Christ. And tonight we have heard from the Word of Truth, how He willingly offered Himself to the Roman executioners and gave His body, and His blood, so that we, like the criminal on the cross may be with Him in paradise.”
• Thank you Lord for your body, the Bread of Life…
• Thank you Lord for your blood, the Cup of Salvation…
Offering
• “It’s been said, “it is better to give than to receive.” And so as we fellowship here together and as we go home to our families at the end of this week we give you the offering of our lives, acknowledging that it could never match up to your Great Gift.”

It should also be noted that this was around Christmas time. I think these songs could be used year round, but they are usually labeled Christmas Songs.

Transformation, my word of the year

2007-12-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

This year I've been doing a lot of reading about and practicing different spiritual disciplines trying to practice being in the presence of God in new (for me) and ancient ways. It has been an extremely transformative year. I have found that when you put yourself in the presence of God he transforms you. For this blog I will define transformation in this way... Transformation is God continually converting the parts of your heart, body, and mind that have yet to be converted.

In my "Teaching the Good News" class with Dr. Chris Flanders we've talked about different theories of atonement. My experience in God's transforming presence has made me really start to side with the "Theosis Theory." This theory of the atonement in a nutshell says that we were formed or created by God perfectly and that over time sin has corrupted us. But because of Jesus we are able to become uncorrupted from sin and take on the Imago Dei (Image of God). In this theory it is a constant cycle of sin corrupting us and Christ molding us back into the Imago Dei. Athanasius said, "He (Jesus) became what we are, so that we might become what He is." I have this kind of idea that our final destination or goal is to be in "Complete Communion with the Divine." I am not sure if that can be accomplished on earth or not, but I'm open to it being possible (Not to say I stand a chance of getting there, but I'll try). But I believe that is what will make Heaven so awesome, "Complete Communion with the Divine."

This has radically changed my life. I am a very different person than I was a year ago. Not to toot my own horn because trust me I am light-years away from total Divine Communion! and the change has been the work of God, not me! But God has done some serious work on converting some hard areas of my heart, mind and body. I am fully convinced that this can only happen through putting yourself in space where He is present. Cane told the LORD his punishment was more than he could bear because, "I (Cane) will be hidden from your presence." It was way too much to handle being out of God's presence for Cane and I believe the same is true for us. We try to fill this void with so many other things but as Augustine wrote so beautifully in his, "Confessions," the void can only be filled with the Presence of God.

So make space for Him, and He will transform you.

Jesus Party!

2007-12-08T00:29:00.001-07:00

In case you don't know, I love my Church! We do some of the most amazing things for people. About 4 or 5 times a year we have a Jesus Party, which is basically a big dance party for the people we thing Jesus would throw a party for, the mentally handicap adults of Abilene. Those people are so much fun! And absolutely hilarious! We had a blast dancing with them. Most of the people from Southern Hills that come are college students so that makes for an extra exciting atmosphere because we all just get jiggy wit it! It's so much fun because you can just dance crazy however you feel like it and nobody cares. It is one of the most freeing experiences ever! This is how I know God loves dancing! What better way to worship our God than to dance with his people who badly need love shown to them.

Talk about a fun night!

1 year minus 4 days...

2007-12-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so check it out, I barely made it! I almost went a whole year without blogging! Well no more of that! haha. I was looking at my friend Margot's facebook page and saw that she put my blog on her profile, so I figured I need to do some updating! I have done some personally, but no public blogs.

Today was the final day of my "Christian Worship" class. I must say, that it was probably the best class I have ever had at ACU. And I have had some amazing ones! I didn't expect a class on worship to be so spiritually formative, but man was it! To put the class into one sentence, (which is impossible) "Worship is primarily God's work of transformation." My passion for leading worship was really revived through taking this class. Not only that but my skills in planning worship and writing meaningful liturgy were dramatically enhanced. If you are at ACU, PLEASE do yourself and your future church a HUGE favor and take Dr. Stephen Johnson for Christian Worship.

Tomorrow is the Jesus Party, maybe if I am really good I'll tell you about how that goes tomorrow. Until then, may the Peace of God transform you.

Renown

2006-12-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

Sure there is something to be said about being humble. But maybe we should ask the question, "am I being a little too humble?"

No... You can't be serious can you? How could you be too humble?

My answer is simply this. You are the light of the world! Light can't be timid! It has to stand out, it can't help but shine for everyone to see. We are children of God! We are heirs to His Throne! Not only that, but unlike our biological parents, God choose us. 1 Peter 2:9 says,

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

We have been chosen for a reason, to make His name renown. We can't be shy about this. Our Fathers name is on the line. We have to do everything we can to get the word out! Use everyone of your gifts. You can't be humble! Let everyone know who you are. Be proud of your family name, Christ. Lets make His name renown!

A Bold Call

2006-12-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today while I was finishing up the book, "On Being a Missionary," God has convicted me. In fact, I had to leave my computer and go for a walk before coming back to write this. Hale (the author) mentions several things that are bonuses for missionaries, such as: multicultural richness, army life, abundant riches (you'll have to read the book to get that one), and adventure. As great as all of that sounds, none of that really does it for me. If that were all the good things about being a missionary, then I could do without it. What calls me to missions is the chance to leave a legacy.

I am a very competitive person. I hate being second! Believe it or not I’ve actually cried over being second, twice! (Texas Football State Championship) That’s what makes me love Christianity. It calls me to a radical life. A life that is far from mediocrity! I can’t stand the fact of having a lukewarm faith! I want to be 100% completely sold out for Christ. I don’t want anything to do with “The American Dream.” In fact, it almost makes me sick to even think about it. All I want is to leave a legacy that when people remember me, they think of Christ. May I glory in Christ alone! I want people to say, Jordan was a puppet. He did exactly what God asked him to do, without even thinking about it. When Jesus called the twelve he didn’t give them a chance to wait and weigh the costs. He bid them come, and die. They followed. I yearn for a faith that follows without a single thought. Some people call that reckless. I call it Faith!

Busy Week

2006-09-04T16:30:00.000-06:00

This is gonna be a really busy week! I had my first voice lesson today since 6th grade. It was great. Robert Burke is my professor. He knows his stuff. After that I met with Frances Green about everything we have going on this week. I've got quite the to-do list piled up with getting ready for the retreat, leaving some leadership back at the Gym Class Sunday morning, classes and plenty of homework from all of them. All of that being said... I can't wait! Its going to be an awesome weekend. So far we have 80 students signed up for the retreat. I'm counting on 90-100 total. We have some really great speakers: Steven Corbett, and Vann Conwell. We are also going to do a prayer walk and I'm leading several times of worship. Please be in prayer about the retreat and all who are on it. "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer." 1 Peter 3:12

New Beginnings

2006-08-30T15:43:00.000-06:00

This summer was the best summer of my life. Also the busiest, hence not posting a blog all summer. I was the Youth and Worship Intern at Sugar Grove Church of Christ. God blessed me in so many ways. I was working with Josh Kasinger, who in my opinion is the best Youth Minister around. Dustin Koctar and Lindsey Mills were the other Youth Interns. They did an incredible job. What an incredible blessing they were! I will always hold a special place in my heart for the people at that church.

It was a great summer and it was sad to see it end. However, I am very excited about my new job. I am the Worship Associate Minister to the Campus Ministry at Southern Hills Church of Christ. I'm pumped about the things that God is going to do this year at Southern Hills. We are having a retreat next weekend, September 8-10, to kick off the semester. It should be great! I think we will see lots of new people there that are excited about getting involved at Southern Hills. I am looking for people to get involved with the Campus Ministry, so if you have any interest let me know. We have all kinds of jobs, including: Table Leaders for the Gym Class, LifeGroup Leaders, photographers, video editors, actors, table setters, communion servers, praise team people, ect. I can't wait to work with all of you. Its going to be a great year!

New Love and Amazing Grace

2006-05-03T22:52:00.000-06:00

I had my first niece last Thursday! Pretty crazy stuff. Its pretty wierd being an uncle and knowing that I'm going to be a part of raising one of God's children. She is the most beautiful baby you will ever see! Her name is Emma Grace Bunch. I can hardly understand why a little baby can do absolutly nothing and yet you love them. Its so incredible, I mean they did absolutly nothing to earn your love, and yet you can't help but love them.

It really does help me to see God's love for a us in a new perspective. I have done absolutly nothing to earn God's love for me. I'm pretty pathetic when I start to think about. A lot like a baby, only I screw up more. I sin all the time! Its pretty ridiculous. I mean why would God love me? Who knows??? But He does anyways! PRAISE GOD!!! This little girl sure has taught me alot already.

I have also been very blessed to be a part of Hope Church of Christ this semester. I have been leading worship or singing on the praise team there every week this semester. It has not only been good experience for me in that area, but it has taught me alot about how a church family should be. They are so open and honest about things. They are really a "come as you are" church. And I absolutly love that about all of them. Last week a man in the church came to confess and appoligize before the church that he had been unfaithful to his wife. Afterwards we sang Amazing Grace and I watched as people lined up all the way to the back to go forgive and hug him during the song. More than half the church was in tears. It was the most one of the most powerful acts of worship I have ever been a part of. Thank God for love and grace that would save a wretch like me!

Unveiled

2006-04-12T23:07:00.000-06:00

It was a pretty good day. After classes were over I hung out in the new Learning Commons, and man is it nice. I started a new book, Inside-Out Worship, its the one that Katie gave me. And man it is packed! Its gonna make my top 5 list for sure. After that I went out to eat at Rosas with Briana and Jerrod and then went to College Drive for church. It was pretty sweet, and I sorta learned some new songs. Then Briana, Jerrod and I shot some hoops. Then I had practice with my praise team for tomorrow at the Study Abroad Chapel. Anyways heres a thought for the day.

When we really pay attention to God's worth, our worship times will start to look even more like the heavenly throne room. The angels sing as do we. The living creatures speak out their praise, and we join them. But the 24 elders bow down on their faces. Oh, that we would see what they see and do as they do, a little more often! To bow is the ultimate physical sign of reverance.

There's definately a different dynamic in worship that kicks in when we fix our eyes firmly on Jesus. I worry that too often we spend our worship times reflection on how we are doing and what we have gained. So often when we say "I love you." we say it with a huge "I" and a small "you." But there's a wonderful biblical dynamic in worship when we lift our eyes off ourselves and gaze upon the beauty of God. William Barclay describes just how a heart captured by the wonder of Jesus gazes upon him:

"He looks with wondering amazement; he looks as one who looks to a champion and a Saviour. He looks as one looks with adoration at his lover. He looks to God when God has become for him the only reality in the world"

In an age of informality and irreverance, true unveiled worshippers recognize the otherness of God and treasure the call to intimacy with Him. Transfixed by His glory and transformed in His presence, we become ever more like Him. Unvieled worshippers are different when they come down the mountain. They are radiant, for all to see, and shining with the glory of God.

Undignified

2006-04-10T00:35:00.000-06:00

One thing I am slowly learning is that it is ok to be an undignified worshipper. In fact, I am starting to believe that God might even prefer it.

Sometimes we may need reminding of how passionate God is for us. Jesus' story of the prodigal son has to be one of the best pictures of God's passionate heart. The father welcoming his wayward son home is powerful in itself, but the way in which he welcomes him is even more moving. This wealthy, dignified man loses all reserve, running toward his son with complete abandon. This was not the way for a man of his stature to behave; if there was any running to be done, he would always send a servant to do it. But as he races toward his son, we see a powerful picture of abandoned extravagant love. Our heavenly Father Loves us with the same great abandon. Passionate, undignified worship is our only reasonable response. William Barclay once wrote:

"Love does not stop nicely to calculate the less or more; love does not stop to work out how little it can repectable give. With a kind of divine extravagance, love gives everything it has and never counts the cost. Calculation is never any part of love."

It's ok to smile. It's ok to clap for our creator. I mean afterall we go crazy for sports and music stars, did we forget that God made them too? It's ok if you feel like lifting your hands and crying out, "God I surrender to you, let my life be totally 100% in you." It's ok to lift your hands and say, "just hold me daddy (abba). " It's ok if you are so full of the joy of the Lord that you cant keep still and you have to move around. I am still working on it, but I want to be a much more undignified worshipper, because I believe that is what God is calling me to be.

Been Busy

2006-04-10T00:20:00.000-06:00

I've been slacking pretty bad on the blog deal for a while. I've been pretty busy the last couple of weeks and wasnt really thinking about this. Quick update: I got to lead worship last sunday (the 2nd) at Hope Church of Christ. It went very well, I was really able to worship God with an undivided heart and I heard the same from a few others who were there. Thats what it is all about. Afterwards Lauren Graham asked me to lead worship the next few weeks at the study abroad chapel on Thursdays. I'm excited about that, it should be a fun time. This weekend my little sister and mom came into town for her academic literary meet. She did an awesome job of acting. I was very proud. I had dinner with my mom and got to hang out with my good friend Terry Davis. He is one of the main people that inspired me to go into worship ministry. He is an awesome worship leader that really shows passion and alot of energy. I have learned alot from him. I also got to hang out with Katie Mullican a little bit and she gave me my belated birthday present. She gave me "Inside Out Worship: Insights for Passionate and Purposeful Worship" by Matt Redman and friends, from The Worship Series. I'm in the middle of another book so I have to wait til I finish it but, I read the intro and its gonna be a really good one.

Spring Break

2006-03-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

Spring break was pretty awesome this year. I went to Durango, Colorado with my family, Ross and Hiedi Holt, my little sisters friend. There was more snow there than there ever has been while we were there.

I got to talk with Ross alot about some good stuff. We mainly hung out around the cabin, rode the four wheelers, played cards and dominoes, and read alot. We went skiing one day. The conditions were awesome. There was a really awesome view from the top. I hung out for a few minutes when I went to the very top just to look around at the view.

One day Ross and I had to continue a tradition that Grant, Ross, Jonathan and I started last year. We chopped some trees up with axes and made a big fire. It was pretty huge.

I got to read a few books while I was up there. It was really nice to just relax and not have to worry about anything for a few days. Blue Like Jazz was really awesome. It really helps make a good distinction between religion and spirituality.

Heres a little section from, Blue Like Jazz, that I thought really described love very well:

"I was in love once. I think love is a bit of heaven. When I was in love I thought about that girl so much I felt like I was going to die and it was beautiful, and she loved me too, or at least she said she did, and we were not about ourselves, we were about each other, and that is what I mean when I say being in love is a bit of heaven. When I was in love I hardly thought of myself; I thought of her and how beautiful she looked and whether or not she was cold and how I could make her laugh. It was wonderful because I forgot my problems. I owned her problems instead, and her problems seemed romantic and beautiful. When I was in love there was somebody in the world who was more important than me."
~Donald Miller

Thats an awesome way to describe how we should love God. We think about him all the time. His problems become our problems: poverty, disease, hunger, lost people, ect. and they are romantic and beautiful things to work on. We dont think about ourselves, only about how beautiful He is and how we can make Him happy.

HE was definatly there

2006-03-10T12:03:00.001-07:00

Chapel went very well. I knew it would, God had been giving that comfort to me over the past few weeks. And when I say it went well I dont mean the praise team and I sounded good and everything went smooth (even though they sounded incredible and everything flowed very well). I mean that God's presence was felt. I know God was there and He was smiling at His worshippers, who where standing and shouting Hallelujah! There is no feeling like it when God blesses you with His presence. Praise God!

I am about to leave for Colorado with the family and Ross. It is going to be incredible. I cant wait to get up in the mountains and enjoy Gods creation, and have some good family/Ross time. I won't have access to a computer while I am there so there won't be any posts until I get back on Sunday. I'll let you know how it goes...

Worship Thought:

Worship leaders, we are on a sacred journey. The cargo is precious and the mission is vital. If we're to really see our King's pleasure in this whole worship music movement, then there are some narrow paths we need to cling to. At times it may seem more attractive to find pleasure from the people. Many of you have a lot of gifting and could certainly impress a lot of people. If you really wanted to, you could grab a whole lot of attention for yourself. But the challenge is to stay pure and true to the cause. Always keep in mind the end of the journey- the pleasure of the King over you as you bring your unspoiled offering before Him and Him alone.

God's Presence

2006-03-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting for tomorrow for quite a while. The beginning of Spring Break, and the day I am blessed to be able to lead worship at chapel. I have been given some real spiritual meat this week preparing me for tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited. The theme for chapel tomorrow is "God's Presence." I had really been feeling God in my life over the past few weeks, so I felt that we should focus our praise and worship on His awesome presence. I will be putting my order of worships on here from now on so feel free to use them in whatever way you want. I like using themes. In my experience it is alot more effective and helps every worshipper focus on a central theme of God and praise Him for that.

Cry of My Heart
In the Secret (chorus only)
Holy Ground (medley)
Beatty vs. 1
Davis once thru
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Blessed Be Your Name
Had It Not Been the Lord
Take me now to your heavenly throne-
It is you I want to finally meet and praise in every way.
Take me now to Your heavenly throne-
I want to kiss Your feet and be with You all day.
I can not endure this world without You;
I can not make this pain subdue…
You know my heart- You know I long for eternal life.
Do amazing things with this body, that keeps your sons soul inside of me alive.
Take me from here- for I have no burdens keeping me away.
Lord, take me to your heavenly throne-
Dear Jesus, I pray for that glorious day.
~Chaz Lilly
Arms of Love
Psalms 62:1-2
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
He Will Come and Save You
Revelation 19:1
After this I heard what sounded like the roar of a great multitude in heaven shouting: "Hallelujah!
Revelation 19:3
And again they shouted: "Hallelujah!
Revelation 19:6
Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
Shout Hallelujah
This is How We Overcome

It should be good. I'll let you know how it goes...

Worship Thought:

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face."
~1 Corinthians 13:12

We will be completely unveiled worshippers, seeing in full what we see only in part now. We will become the perfect unquenchable worshippers, for there will be nothing to quench our devotion. No more tears, no more troubles, no more pain. We will be the ultimate undignified worshippers, no doubt joining the 24 elders as they throw themselves before the heavenly throne. That day will bring a freedom in praise the likes of which this world has never seen. Every distraction to our worship will have passed away. No more temptations and no more enticements. Completely undivided worshippers, we will stand in the very presence of God, and He alone will consume every heart.

Faith vs. Works

2006-03-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

Do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does talking about faith really mean that a person has it? For instance, you go to a friend who is wearing old torn and dirty clothes, starving and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup. Where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that "God-talk" without "God-acts" is completely ridiculous?

I can hear you thinking sounds good! You take care of the faith, I'll take care of the works. I don't think so. You can't show me your works apart from your faith anymore than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together like a hand in a glove.

Dont trust me. Read it for yourself... James 2:14 ff

Living Jesus

2006-03-07T23:43:00.000-07:00

It was probably the best day (as far as weather goes) outside today. I loved it! Around 8pm I was like what in the world am I doing inside. So I went out and played my 12 string for a about an hour and half, and then I was on my way back to the dorm around 9:30 when I saw a girl trip. I met up with her and she asked where the library was so I walked her there (she doesnt go to ACU yet). She happens to have a great alto voice so we just sat down and praised God. (I used my guitar shhhh dont tell anybody haha just kidding) Then Eric Johnson joined us and we sang and talked about stuff til curfew. Her name is Jessica White. Afterwards I came to a devo/discussion time with a bunch of guys from around the dorm, and Randy Harris. It was awesome! Lots of guys really opened up and asked questions and shared their beliefs. We talked about not being "Christians" but just following Jesus instead. And how radical of a life that really is. What I love most about it is that it is more than a religion. It is a call to GREATNESS! And I want to be great at everything I do. So that makes it so much more attractive to me. So with that I leave you with this challenge.

Do not settle for "well at least I only did _______" or "its not as bad as the sin they are doing." There is no reason we should ever settle, for ANYTHING. Following Christ is more than that. It is a call to greatness. A call to an authentic faith. A call to perfection.

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
~Matthew 5:48

Jesus Freak

2006-03-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. I bowled a 141 in bowling class. And then I worked on chapel for a while longer. I bought 2 new ZOE Group books. I think I have them all now :) Then I went to make copies for my praise team and Sarah Aguilar and Scott Morrison were there making copies too. It was a good reunion since I never see Sarah anymore. SHEESH SARAH! Later on we had a Freshman Devo, and Steven Moore gave an amazing lesson about being a Jesus Freak, and not holding anything back. Pretty much he said we should be "unquenchable worshippers" so as you can guess I was ready to give a follow up lesson. Too bad it wasnt a discussion thing cause I might have made the devo alot longer haha. After the devo i had practice with my praise team. It went really well, I am so excited about Friday Chapel. They sounded awesome! It was a good day.

Thought for the Day:

The Creator of the universe has opened a door to closeness with Him, and we need to ensure we never take it for granted. If this talk of intimacy is to be wholesome, we must never forget whom it is we are approaching. The writer of Ecclesiastes puts it perfectly:

“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”
~Ecclesiastes 5:1-2

There is a time to be still and just know that God is God. This is a time to reflect on who He is and respond with the fewest of words and the simplest of songs. As the Ecclesiastes passage goes on to say, “Therefore stand in awe of God” (v. 7).

The Unquenchable Worshipper

2006-03-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

This world is full of fragile loves- Love that abandons, love that fades, love that divorces, love that is self seeking. But the unquenchable worshipper is different. From a heart so amazed by God and His wonders burns a love that will not be extinguished. If survives any circumstance. It will not allow itself to be quenched, for that would heap insult on the love it lives in response to.

~Matt Redman (The Unquenchable Worshipper)
(several of these blogs will include quotes from this book)